Forever Your Tree (a live blog)

1:50 pm - Picked up "forever" tree from Nina's house, where it's been surreptitiously stored for six months. We don't have the storage space to receive wedding presents, much less store a six-foot evergreen, however collapsible.

4-5 pm - Braved the Albany Target to find Christmas lights and other flights of Christmas fancy. Christmas fancy was in short supply.

5:57 pm - Adam hauled disassembled tree up three flights of stairs to apartment.

6 - 8:30 pm - Recovered from tree trip.

8:30 pm - Discussed turning off Tough Love 2 in favor of decorating tree.

9 pm - Adam started piecing together tree. Found multiple plugs attached to its pre-lit limbs. More plugs than holes in which to insert. Luckily, found note attached to tree:


Question: If this tree is dangerous enough that one should wash one's hands after touching, why is the largest font conveying only that one shouldn't throw away the directions?


9:10 pm - Discover camera is out of batteries. Scrounge used batteries out of other household objects. Adam starts taking pictures of...stuff. Amy says batteries should be saved for something Christmasy. Adam takes this photo:


9:24 pm - Began adding hooks to Target-purchased $5 ornament set. Amy feels dumb because she can't find a hole in which to stick a hook. Discovers it was just her unfortunate luck that she got a defective first ornament—the Chinese didn't drill the hole all the way through. Proceeds with same procedure she used on her belly button piercing when it closed up in 2001—poking hard with sharp object.


9:27 pm - Began adding last year's tree decorations—Adam's collection of tiny Muppets. Kermit got the topper position. Obvi.


9:28 pm - Added the two actual ornaments we've procured this year (for a grand total of two): a Mickey Mouse hat (from Amy's birthday at Disneyland) and Michael Jackson (which Amy found in Old Town San Diego, and called Adam to declare that, in all the time they're married, he'll never receive a better gift).


Et, viola: